Here is a list of things I dream of doing to embarrass my children one day when they are teenagers. These things have all been proudly perfomed by my children... most of the time in public.
When my kids are teens I will seek retribution by...
1. Dropping to the ground in the middle of a Wal-mart and kick my legs and scream.
2. Pull something from my nose and bring it to them like a gift OR just wipe it on their pants.
3. Walk into a crowd of people and exclaim, "I NEED TO GO POOOOOP!"
4. Yell loudly from the bathroom, "I Peed! or "I pooped again!!!" (dependant upon situation)
5. Return from said bathroom with pants down and ask them to fasten them.
6. When they ask for the car keys simply reply, "MINE!!!"
7. When walking out of a crowded hall start screaming, "DON'T BEAT ME! DON'T! PLEEEASE! QUICK SOMEONE CALL 911!!!"
8. Rub an entire jar of Vicks Vaporub into my hair and style it into a mohawk ten minutes before worship.
9. Ask, "Why?"...every five minutes. (this one might really prove beneficial during adolescence)
10. Create an outfit so obnoxious with stripes and plaid and polka dots and announce proudly.."This is what I'm wearing to church today!"
Obviously for those of you who know me well, you know I probably will not have the nerve to perform these heinous acts to my kids. BUT I think it is safe to say their dad may.